Why Hope? yHope!

I just had the most amazing weekend of my life. I am so happy right now... This Friday, a little after cheerleading yearbook pics, my parents, HoHo and I set out on a 3 hour drive to NEW YORK!!!

Why were we off on such a journey? Well, we were invited to join a group of young kids/adults (yHope) on an NYC retreat-esque thing. They were driving all the way up from BOSTON (aka The Home of the Enemy! LOL) and staying at a Jesuit retreat house. Let me tell you: these guys were just amazing.

I was so happy that my sister and I were accepted into the group. Everyone was great. Luke, who is 27, has a wife and kids and will be going to his 4th World Youth Day. (I hope I can see him there!) Marie is joining a convent in Spain, so hopefully our WYD group can make a short stop at their convent so I can visit her. (Starting in October, I can only send her letters.) And Kristen is going to be performing a play in our area soon! They were all so great, so inspiring. Natalia, Maria, Marie, Daniela, Louis, Tom, Luke, Angelique, Kateri, Kristen, and Fr. Mike were all so wonderful. We walked the streets of New York, praying along the way. Before we got a slice of pizza and were able to 'frolic in the park', the sisters at the book store even gave us homemade lemon cookies!!! When the whole thing was over, we ordered a massive amount of Chinese food and played riddle games. Mass was even more amazing: Luke on guitar (Van Wagner + Uncle Bill + Chris Winger + T. Daddy = LUKE!), Angelique in charge (music director person)... It was midnight by the time we finally retreated to our hotel. And Sunday morning!!! Two of my best friends in the entire world, Ashley and Janine, came up to visit with us and introduced me to a girl named Kayla. I was overwhelmed, we were having such a great time. It was so hard to leave. And as everyone from the Boston yHope group drove away, there was Marie, STILL taking pictures of us in the car.

I could cry it was all so wonderful. I laughed a lot, too. "Take the pebble from my hand, grasshopper..." "OKAY! MICKEY MICKEY MICKEY MOOOUUUSSSEEE!!!" Thank God for this kids.

Finally, please pray for a young guy named Louis. His family is here illegally technically, they are from Columbia and came to America because of their alcoholic father. He wants to become a priest, but he has no Social Security number and can't get into college. If they try and become citizens, they may be deported for entering illegally in the first place. PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM AND HIS FAMILY, DANIELA AND HIS MOTHER. They need His grace.

"A lady of Narnia must try desperately not to cry while driving away from the best weekend of her life."

Current State of Union

1. I am now a high school girl!!! ("Yesterday we were girls, today, we're high school girls.") And I'm actually liking this. Taylor Swift's 'Fifteen' was running through my head all of first day, but I made it out alive. Better than alive: happy! (Monty Python... anybody get it? I think I'll take a walk now... LOL) Chorus is the definite highlight. Last period of the day + singing + awesome peeps = CHORUS. Between singing to my heart's content as well as chilling with the coolest and sweetest people on Earth (El, Jenn, Benji, Shane, Quinn, The Other Steven, and Hannah), I'm pretty happy. Just thought you'd like to know.

2. The Gentle is going nowhere. I need inspiration. Any takers?

3. Just one question: why can't we bang out Narnian movies FASTER!? VDT is ages away!!! Gimme a trailer, a poster, a television commerical, outrageous and pathetic Legos products, anything!!!

4. My El-radar (I think Elwen knows what I mean) is getting crazy accurate. I can even sense the people around her. When her cousins were in town, I knew before she even told me. Perhaps its cuz we share a brain???

5. New section: Anna's picks! Here's what I recommend for you to enjoy this week.
a) 'Falling Down' by Selena Gomez & The Scene (New album Sept. 29! Yessss!)
b) 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' by J.K. Rowling (Brush up before the movie.)
c) On The Waterfront (Awesome movie... A good old classic. Great morals.)
I just felt like sharing. "I mix my meats! Gotta problem with that?"

6. Miley Cyrus is stalking me. I need Big Rob.

7) I have nothing much else to say today, nothing Narnian really... Anyways, comment and keep me company!!!

"A lady of Narnia must resist the urge to kiss up to seniors. ( ;"

Not All That Narnian...

"I don't wanna be afraid, I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today, and know that I'm okay cuz everyone's perfect in unusual ways. You see I just wanna believe in me."

- 'Believe In Me' by Demi Lovato

That song sometimes brings me to tears. If you listen to the full song, the lyrics and the tune perfectly describe how I feel about myself and the world. I find that it is a very inspiring and hopeful song that always makes me feel better.

If I could change the world in any small way, I would try and help people have a better view of themselves, mainly because I think of myself so poorly. Elwen knows more than anyone that I complain about myself a lot. Emma, too. But it is pretty difficult to have a healthy self-esteem when everything around you is perfection (or almost perfection).

As I always say, "The reason that girls have it harder than guys is because they have to look good for boys, other girls, and themselves." There's a lot of pressure. Not just the media, although that is a huge part of it. Part of my problem is that the people that surround me are all 'practically perfect in every way'.

Let's see... I cannot think of a single one of my friends who is not beautiful/handsome. I have never had a crush on any of my guy friends, but they are all good looking. Don't get me started on my girl friends. Elwen is probably the prettiest girl in our class. Think about it. Emma is a stick-skinny, fashionable, and very pretty girl. Calli is drop dead gorgeous, and I think that her older sister Elise is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Sara is multi-talented, fun, and pretty. Ashley and Janine, who are both so amazingly beautiful that I'm surprised they like me, Rose, who's not only an amazing actress, singer, and fashionista, but is super cute, Anna Marie and Gracia, who are sooooooooooo pretty. And my own sister, too. I'm surrounded by these people all the time, and they're all nice, good people with talents and outstanding qualities and good looks and good grades. Then there's me. I sometimes wonder how these people got stuck with me. Inside and out, I figure that I am not good enough to deserve all of these girls/guys. I am not smart enough, not thin enough, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not brave enough, not this, that, etc.

But I have to wake myself up once and awhile. I am smart: I'm an honor student. (Hehe... Doigel...) I am smart: I made El's Dad pull over, made Mikayla H. snort while laughing, and have created most of my family's inside jokes. I don't know about thin... LOL. I am at the very least somewhat pretty, because I have been told before. And I am brave enough: I stood up for friends when no one else would (6th grade of EVIL). Unless I have a month and can whip up some Polyjuice Potion (more Harry Potter, sorry), I am still going to be me today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. So I had better make the best of it.

(Note: Check out http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx[cp-documentid=8354359]/ and watch 'Under Pressure' followed by 'Evolution'. Both were real eye-openers. And listen to 'Believe in Me'. And buy me some chocolate.)

"A lady of Narnia must try and not lose her mind when she is stuck in a super small van for 6 stinkin' hours!!!"

A Montage

TOMORROW NIGHT IS HIGH SCHOOL ORIENTATION! I think I'm going to die... The seniors are going to beat me up, Elwen. Here is a montage of what's going on in my brain.

"Does anyone realize how hard it was to resist those Narnian bookmarks at the gift shop? It was very hard. Very, very hard. And Susan's, like, was so awesome, and Peter's was, like, also awesome. Ed's was okay... Lu's wasn't very nicely done... WHY THE HECK IS THE WHITE WITCH HERE!? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO FOR ANYONE? I'll be sleeping with the television, sleeping with the television, sleeping with the television onnnnnn... I like ice cream bars. I liked the 50's. Lauryn has a Twitter. Sweet. Yes, Janine and I are both hopeless romantics! I'm not alone! OMG, free postcards! I'll write one to Bob, my imaginary friend from Toledo. 'Dear Bob...' I don't like that guy either, Mom. He's pretty biased. The youth group is using my cake idea!!! I won't be there, I'll be off being cool with Ash, Janine, Rose, Jean Marie, Sean, hopefully Bobby and Ikaika, Jess... What was I talking about again? I'm failing in school, I'm losing my friends, I'm making my family lose their minds, don't wanna eat, don't wanna sleep... Ron the Marshmellow Man is my new BFF. I've learned you can dance and still look tough any-waaaay... AKA, the Ode to Neville. My back still hurts. I feel old. NO, GRAMMY, THAT'S MY TWENTY DOLLAR BILL! I named my guitars Joel and Neil. Joel is dead, Neil is practically disabled. Oh wait... Its almost high school time... I feal weak... Why is the room spinning? Am I in heaven or just a jelly filled donut? Oh man, nobody but HoHo knows what I'm talking about. I liked going on that hike. Dad was Moses and HoHo and I had Wizard Wars. Well, kind of. There was too much chlorine in the pool. School, right... Bad... Anyways, those fries at the park were soooo awesome, although the guy behind me ordered fries, 2 hot dogs, and pizza. My parents are stalking me to Europe. Awesome! What? School in a week? You've got to be kidding me!"

Anyways, as you can see my brain is jumbled with many thoughts. Tempting pointless merchandise, getting stuck in the same stupid Boy Boat, love of food, inside jokes, and food. Elwen: can you believe how close we are to school? I'm getting nervous. As I always say: "Who needs a hug?" (Or, "You're dead. You need a hug.") Please help me!!!

"A lady of Narnia must be very careful with the waffle maker. Veryyyy careful..."

Fearless!

"... And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless. And I don't know why with, with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless."

- "Fearless", by Taylor Swift

We all have fears. Some of them or worse that others. But we all have a deep, dark fear, one that can paralyze and terrorize us.

I know what Elwen is thinking right now. For some, it is indeed fire or claustrophobia. I know what HoHo is thinking right now. Yes, and for some it is spiders and giant flying biting stalker beetles. But we are all scared of something.

I started thinking about this after watching The Prisoner of Azkaban with my sisters. For those of you that don't know much about Harry Potter (I'm knew, I think El hates me, but...), there's this being called a boggart, which takes the form of whatever we are scared of most. It can form a scary Potions teacher, a snake, a spider, anything. I began to wonder what it would take form of in my case.

I hate bugs. Maybe it would become a giant insect. (Which I could put on rollerblades! "Spiders... they want me to tapdance..." Oh gosh, I'm losing it.)

Or darkness. I hate being outside in the dark while alone.

I don't think it would become fire, Elwen, I really don't.

I don't really have a good idea of what it would become, actually. I'm thinking a dementor, because like Harry, the main thing that I fear is fear itself. I'm scared of being scared. Well, anyways, the boggart just got me thinking. How is that we cope with our fears?

We can run from them, we can try and hide from them, or we can deny that they are there. Or we can face them. I'm not asking you to purposefully shut off the lights or go looking for spiders or make yourself bleed. But if we can put our trust in God (Aslan), we'll be just like a noble warrior of Narnia. Facing our fears, overcoming hardship, and doing our very best and being truly, truly FEARLESS.

"A lady of Narnia must try not to cry when J.P. keeps saying 'Bye, I'll never see you again!'"

The Gift of a Friend

Dictionary Definition
friend - (noun) 1. a person attatched to another by feelings or affection or personal regard
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. a member of the religious society of Friends; Quaker


My Definition
friend - (noun) 1. a person who is trusthworthy, honest, and loyal to you, all the time
2. a person who is respectful and understanding and gives you your space
3. a person who can make you laugh even when your heart is aching
4. a person who sees you differences and your flaws and doesn't seem to mind
5. "The world comes to life, and everything's right, from beginning to end when you have a friend by your side, it helps you to find the beauty you are when you open your heart and believe in the gift of a friend." - Gift of a Friend by Demi Lovato (I think that song says it all if you've ever heard it.)

Why am I posting about friendship? I don't really know... Maybe its because I haven't seen many friends lately, and I'm beginning to miss them all. Maybe its because I've been hurt by someone and need to remember what true friends are like. Maybe it's because I read too much and watch too many movies and I see what can happen when someone doesn't know what true friendship is. Maybe it's all of those things. I guess the world will never know what goes on in my brain. ( ;

OK, I think that was enough sappy-ness for today. Anyhow, it would appear that I must be going in order to fufill the day's duties ("Hehe, you said 'duty'." Quotacious...), so I'll be off.

"A lady of Narnia must try and not totally and completely panic when some idiot decided that it would be a great roadwork project to take out all the guide rails off the side of a dangerous cliff."

Boredom Is My New Best Friend!

Ohhhkayyy, I have to admit that I have been terribly bored for the past few days. Elwen is FINALLY back from Camp Freedom, so I guess that's a good thing. However, I have spent 3 out of 7 days sitting poolside, over-heating, over-eating and over-reading. Its a wonder that I haven't burned to a crisp (like poor El), but sunscreen works wonders when reapplied religiously. Over-heating: I winced in pain as my feet burned on the pavement. Over-eating: I've had enough M&M's and potato chips to last me a lifetime. Over-reading: I went through 6 of the 7 Harry Potter books in a week and a half. What else? OCD (Obsessive Cheerleading Disorder), OMED (Obsessive Marshmellow Eating Disorder) and a little bit of OPBD (Obsessive Peanut Butter Disorder). Interesting July, hmm? (Oh, and I'm a year older now. ( :)

So what if I'm bored? I shouldn't be bored. Considering that there are 3 new TV episodes tonight followed by The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and a picnic to attend. But alas, I am feeling rather 'droll'. (HoHo? Get my joke? NO? Uh...) Alrighty then... I think I'll go all poetic on you... That'll work... Here's a poem... Yah.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Give me your money

Or I'll kill you!!!

OK, that obviously did not cure my bored or my anger management issues... I'm afraid I have to go. I'm sure I'll think of something to post later... I'll get something up later that's loads better. I love you guys!

"A lady of Narnia must forgive and attempt to forget, even if others tend to be a little bit more stubborn."